COLD, BLUE HEART
Sometimes I feel like I’m all broke up,
Like my heart has split in two.
Sometimes the dance is not enough.
Do you feel the same way, too?
Can you meet me on the far side and
Stay with me a while?
Can you hold me like you mean it,
Like you care to see me smile?
Will you wrap your arms around me,
And speak to me real low.
Will you say the words I need to hear Before you have to go?
My cold, blue heart
Never feels the pain.
Not even when you cast me out
just to look for me again.
Sweet nothings in my ear,
blow velvet to my mind.
Sweet somethings that I hear,
fan this blue heart for a time.
I’ll see you on the far side,
and stay with you a while.
I’ll lay in your lying arms
and sink behind your smile.
I’ll hear those words that
bury me deep in ice and snow.
Then I’ll close my eyes
so I won’t see why you have to go.
Yin and Yang
I have been known to howl at the moon,
shouting like a demon of doom and gloom.
I have been known to defile my good name
Only to do worthwhile works again.
I have been known to have base desires
All the while seeking a spiritual side higher
Than I have a right to expect,
Compensation, without cause and effect.
I have been known to give into sorrow,
Grieving over my past, dreading tomorrow.
I have been known to put off my dreams
While still accomplishing wonderful things.
I have been known to give in to hate,
With a capacity for love
At once powerful and great.
I have been known for all these things.
I'm a flip of the coin, complete yin and yang.
Snowy surprise on a dark wintry night.
White earth rises from brown ground
A country road and a solitary ride,
Winding wet pavement, blanketed sound.
My breath holds tight, and holds too long.
My heart beats hard as the car goes wrong,
Slips on that curve, slides on that dip,
Concrete stops and collapses to ditch.
Hope and a prayer, wing and a song,
Angels, unseen, carry me along.
Swerves and sways, then rights and slows.
The edge was too near,
The disaster too close.
Thank you God, for your guardian ghosts
Whirling safety in surprising snows.
Written for Mom by my dear friend, Ann Ohmer
IF I DIE ON A SUNDAY
The Choirs were singing like Angels this mornin
As I entered through the gate
I looked back briefly at my girls and smiled
They are okay, they are okay
Like a feather I soared into the heavens
On angels wings and set down gently by a dove
My love, my love my love is all around me
The warmth, a gentle breeze blowing I am home
I have left the Earth and did my best work
My final breath coming coming then gone
No more pain, the tears shall fall coming in waves but
most of all know that I am home, I am finally home
I cared for you both as only a Mother can I have no regrets
You cared for me as if I were your child only the best and all of your love
The choirs rose to their feet and the music so beautiful so beautiful
I had to go, it was time for me, I was pulled to the other side
There is no now, there is no time, there is no more pain, no more worry
My love, my loves they are all around me and I am home
I will watch over you both still, look for me in the nights sky
When the clouds have gone and only the azure blue is left
You will see me then, I will be shining so bright you will know
You will just know and breathe in now chile as I am free.
I died on a Sunday, the Choirs sang and lifted me up.
Joy only joy and my spirit is soaring.
Be at peace now I am smiling.
I love you
The moon was nearly full
waiting on the stars to pump it up.
The clouds teased the icy wind
with billowing sails and frosty puffs.
He watched the moon
with its iridescent glow,
and he smiled, thinking of her
in a moonstruck sliver of snow.
Her hair whipped around her smile,
brushing white with reddish-gold,
and her eyes flashed diamond sparkles
as she ran through the crystal snow.
It was the last time he saw her,
there in the winter white.
But she lived on in his longing,
elusive beauty on a wintry night.
I wrote this for Mom years ago.
She will live on through me always...
When I look into my mother’s eyes,
It’s true beauty that I see,
For when she smiles her shining smile
There is love looking back at me.
When I hear my mother’s voice,
I am a child again,
Playing in my world of dreams
When first my life began.
When I watch my mother’s hands,
So graceful, yet so strong,
I’m reminded how those loving hands
Have been there all along.
She’s guided me through my life,
With her eyes, her hands, her voice,
Through all her gentle ways I knew
My life could be my choice.
This gift of words is not enough
To share what’s in my heart.
I just wanted to let you know
How truly beautiful I think you are.
Ricky Leighton put music to "Cold, Blue Heart," and now we have a wonderful duet...
Here's some of my poetry. I hope you find something to relate to... I have always enjoyed putting my thoughts into verse when it hits me. Maybe you do too?
White porcelain angels flank the red crystal decanter.
They guard its contents carefully
and smile up at the sparkling teardrop cork
that holds dear what is inside.
Dust to dust.
She was beautiful to me in life
and in death she is luminescent.
Her fears have fled into the firmament,
no longer burdening her
and gripping her tired heart with
Her fears have fled.
She is free to soar, free to feel
free to spread her shine
over other freed souls
dancing on ebullient misty clouds.
She is free. She is ending never,
She is mine forever.
She is gold dust.